Little T

Seven years of blogging and five of those years have had a New Years blog. So even though one of the biggest things I've learned this year is that things can change and the world will still move, that doesn't mean they have to. :) 2015 was a BIG YEAR for me. Started grad school, quit my job, got a new job, moved to Alabama, started a new grad school, lost a beautiful friend, gained new coworkers and friends, joined a book club and a bowling league, went to my first music festival and my first Blue Angels Show and I've spent more time in my car than I care to count. In past years, I've counted and totaled miles I've traveled in the previous year, but considering I'm starting this year with a long drive, that'll have to happen another day. I'm very grateful for all of you reading this post. I was thinking earlier about some things and the past 2-3 years, I spent so much time reflecting and wondering and dreaming. I think I filled three journals and spent every Saturday in adoration with most of my time feeling like something wasn't right. I loved my job, I mostly loved my family (just kidding) and I had fabulous friends. Saying something was missing isn't the right phrase, it didn't feel that way. It was almost like when you have to force a puzzle piece in and you're not really sure if it actually fits or you just made it fit. Don't read anything else into that cause it just popped in my head and I think it's right. Like maybe, I'm the puzzle with a piece out of place. Before I say this next part, please know Amarilloans, that I love and miss you all dearly. No matter where live takes me, Amarillo will always be my hometown and you will always be family. I'm incredibly happy in this new path. I know with great certainty that this is the path for me, even with all the fears and changes that I thought would hold me back. As a teenager, I used to wonder how famous people moved and traveled away from their family. I know that's a random thing to wonder about, but I did. Now I'm not saying I'm famous, but I get it. When you're doing something you love, you can do anything, no matter the place or people. Now, in a year or two, I could read this and just want to tell myself that's not true, I've just gotten really lucky in Alabama. But for now, even if it is just luck, it's good enough ending for 2015. Now it's time for a NEW YEAR! I love making resolutions! 

My New Years resolution is to write and send more snail mail. I'm not assigning a number to that because then I'll just be discouraged and quit by February. But I have two pages of Charlie Brown Christmas stamps, tons of stationery and a little extra time. Now all I need is your address. So kindly send those to me, I'm even thinking of buying an actual address book. I'm also going to start running again. Last year saw very little running for me and I think I miss it. Luckily Alabama winters won't make it difficult to start now. I found this challenge to run/walk 2,016 miles in 2016. It's 40 or so miles a week, unless you have a partner or a team. So if anyone wants to join me, or try to complete the same challenge, let me know. We can motivate each other! 

I really want to find a song to finish off this blog, but I can't choose one. Maybe you all should share a song with me. 

May your 2016 be filled with laughter, happiness, fellowship and whatever else you would like to see!! 

Hitherto, prior to, so far, thus far-yet

So I haven't written a blog in a while, I don't feel like going back and looking because I'm typing this on my phone because we had to cancel our suddenlink service yesterday, because they suck, and we have no internet. I want to say the last one was me announcing that I would not be returning to Holy Cross or camp. I stated many reasons in that blog for making that decision, all of which were true. However, I omitted a few, well one big one to big exact. Anyone who knows me knows that I love teaching math and I love to travel. My students would say that I love three things: math, baseball and winning. But in the last four years, travel has worked its way onto the top of the list. I had a conversation last fall with a fellow teacher about traveling and teaching and he suggested the Department of Defense Education Activity. I wasn't sure what that was, so I started looking it up. Basically, the government hires teachers to go to their military bases around the world to teach the children of the military men and women who are stationed there. I probably looked at the website for a week before I started filling out the application. I only told one person the next day that I had done it, mostly because I didn't think my chances were that good and I just felt like being excited about a new opportunity for a while. As I filled out the application, I needed references so I contacted a few teachers from "my past" and talked to my two current administrators. I started to get into, so I decided to tell my parents, then my roommate, because this would surely have an effect on her. Then I just waited. I would check back into the website every now and then, but it said most of the hiring would take place in July or Auguat. Which made me nervous about a few things. If I were to get this job I didn't want a technicality to hold me back, as that's happened before. So I decided to give Holy Cross enough time to find someone to take my place. So I quit. Then I heard nothing from the DODEA. So I started making back up plans. The prospect of me getting a job with them faded into the background. Until one day when I got an email from someone at the school on Maxwell Air Force Base. I'll never forget that day. I was shocked. I was flabbergasted. I was excited, a few people who saw me that day got to hear about the opportunity because at that point I didn't care who knew. I scheduled a phone interview during the family vacation to Colorado and started preparing for the types of questions they would ask. After the shock wore off, I didn't want anyone new to know, I was worried that if too many people knew about it, I wouldn't get it. I would have to tell a bunch of people, again, that I didn't get the job. I didn't want that. So I had the interview and was certain that I bombed it. So I went back to my back up plans, especially after over two weeks of not hearing anything. Before I say anything, let me just say that everyone needs someone like Darla Mueller in their lives.Someone who is eternally optimistic and encouraging. I started hearing back from the school again after over two weeks, and the roller coaster began. I told a few more people about the opportunity and started making plans for when the time came that I needed to make a decision. I knew that if I was offered the job, I would accept it. I needed to, I had to. It wouldn't be easy, but I just felt, and still feel, that this is what I'm being called to do. It isn't going to be easy to leave the life I have in Amarillo but there are things waiting for me outside of Amarillo. Once I accepted it, I started to think of the things that I would miss doing just on a regular basis here. Lunch runs with Tim, wine nights with Baylie, Friday lunches with the lunch crew, Sunday dinners with the family, movie dates with the niece and nephews, random cookouts at Teresa and Matt's, weekend trips to Albuquerque and so many other little things. But then I just think about all the cool places I could have the opportunity to see, the people I will meet. This gives me the opportunity to possibly share my love of math with children around the world. How could I not share my gifts, especially when it meant I got to travel the world at the same time. Logistically, it has not been easy to move somewhere that I have never been but things have been falling into place in a way that help me know for certain that this is what I'm supposed to be doing. For example, my roommate Baylie is moving back to Kansas about a week after I am. So, if you were at my party at Holy Cross at the end of the school year, I made a speech and left a subtle hint at this possibility. I said something like "I'm not leaving the country YET." And I'm not..not yet anyways. :) 

Late night Post

The last week has been very bizarre, but maybe only because I expected it to be normal. Except for today, I knew today would be difficult. Although, it wasn't nearly as difficult as I thought it would be. Today I made an announcement at school, that I'm not conflicted about because I know that it is the right decision. I know that it is the right decision because I've spent a lot of time praying, reflecting, and discussing it, as many of you can attest to. So what is this announcement? Well, my first period had to take a guess before I said it, "You're getting married!?" HA!! NO....that's not it! I have decided not to return to Holy Cross Catholic Academy as a full time teacher next school year. Since I've taken serious steps to pursue my Master's degree, I have felt very torn and split in many directions. I have felt like none of my commitments have gotten the attention that I deserve, and if I'm not giving 100%, then I have to take a look at what I can do differently. My students today all had very different reactions to the news. I am impressed that I only cried three times today. Two of those times were during 1st period. My sophomore geometry class is one that I always favor for many reasons, for one it is tons of fun to teach. The last few years I have also taught the sophomores two years in a row, 9th Algebra 2 and 10th geometry. There's a very unique bond that happens when you have a class back to back like that. One that I can't describe, but I know that it is one lasts for a long time. Anyways, sorry for the distraction. I have to share a few of the reactions that I got from students and teachers today. One of those sophomores asked "But, you'll be back to teach when we are seniors right?" I told her that I am only taking it one day at a time. One of the 7th graders asked "So, when you finish getting your Master's, you'll be back to teach here full time again, right?" The choir teacher I've had the honor of traveling with several places and I've watched her become a phenomenal music teacher in just two short years, honestly, I can't wait to see her as a teacher in the future. But she said, "I understand where you're coming from, but that doesn't mean I have to like it." But the teacher across the hallway, who I've only taught with for one year, really blew me away with her reaction. She came across the hall and said something to this effect, "I understand the struggle, but I can tell you that we're going to miss you around here. I think you are Holy Cross and you represent the school so well. I know you'll be missed greatly." Gosh, I'm tearing up again, just typing that. But I guess if I've done my job right, my students will continue to be successful no matter who their new teacher is! So, Elizabeth, why the blog? I wanted to take a minute to address the people who weren't sitting in my classroom today. To my former students, you are amazing! I would not be on this journey if it weren't for each and every one of you. I have been inspired to be a better educator because of you! To my coworkers, past present, whatever, thanks you guys. You are all such fabulous professionals that I wouldn't have considered taking this path if it weren't for all of you. I mean, I've watched a hippie English major become a really fabulous English Teacher. I just can't tell all of you reading this, how much I appreciate all that you've done for me to get here. Quick shout out to my dad for helping me pay for this semester and several other things as they've come up. This is a very scary journey that I'm starting come June. For one, I'm not returning to the staff of Camp Kiwanis for the first time in almost 15 years. Then next year, I'm looking at the possibility of not even working as a teacher. I have several options that I'm working on at the moment. If you know of something with flexible hours, decent pay and benefits, let me know. :) This blog is shorter than I feel like it deserves partly because I just spent all evening at Starbuck's working on homework. So I'm a little tired tonight. Well....that's all for now! Thanks for reading. Thanks for being you. Until next time.

Not that kind

Hello! I have been wanting to share some thoughts with the blogosphere for a few weeks, but this is the first time I've found a spare moment to actually sit down and do it. So I hope my words come out like I want them to. Sometimes I get an idea and the thought passes after a while, but I feel like this one is kind of a big deal. Haha. Like me. ;) 

Before I jump right into things, let me first say that I'm sorry if I haven't responded to you as quickly as I usually do when it comes to any type of communication. I'm glad I've eased into school by taking just one class the last two semesters. Taking two along with my "semi usual" Spring activities is already a little mad. I say semi usual because for the first time in two years, I'm not hosting any kind of tournament. I am taking my middle school kids down to Lubbock next weekend for their district tournament and then the high school gets to spend a week in Waco after Spring Break basically for all of their stuff. So "work" wise things aren't as busy for me, but I can not say the same for pretty much every other area of my life. Luckily tonight was the end of basketball, so some time will get added to my evenings for homework. :) Now onto the rest of the story. :) 

So, first of all let me say that while at times I thought that being such an over thinker was detrimental to some areas of my life, getting older I no longer believe that. I'm able to reflect and think about how I got where I am in life, what I could be learning from where I am and too many other things to list. My weekly adoration visits the last two years has certainly encouraged this tradition of thinking. So I've written a few times about the idea of love and marriage and "finding someone" and I realized something, well actually I don't really know when I realized it, one day the thought was just sort of in my head. But I realized that I don't want to get married. I used to always get frustrated talking with my friends growing up as they fantasized about their wedding day, that's not something I've ever even thought of doing. There's no secret board on Pinterest full of ideas for my "someday wedding."  I've also never, ever been the dating girl. I've always wanted to help kids, but i don't have to have the kids in order to help them right? Anyways, this was inspired when someone made the following comment about me during a random conversation, "Yeah, she's definitely not a mom, she doesn't even have a cat." And I just got irritated, I feel like there are some people out there, many of whom are reading this, that feel like the things I'm doing are simply to pass time until I find a husband. That my life isn't starting yet because I'm not married. And to these people I say, have you not noticed that it is not the 1850s?? As a person, I'm able to make decisions and choices about my life basically on my own. Why is it necessary to get married for your life to start? Here's an analogy I came up with, you know how I love those! I sometimes feel like people are constantly telling me to buy a car and telling me which kind of car I should get. Even if I'm not looking to get a new car, even if there is nothing wrong with my car. Why do other people care what kind of car I drive? Hell, why do they care if I'm even driving any car in the first place? (In case you got lost, in this analogy, the car is just my life, not something in particular. Just a series of choices I've made that make me who I am) I don't know why it is engraved in us that we are supposed to grow up, get married, get a job, have kids and get old and die. Haha. I mean, why do our lives have to look the same? The grow up and die part happens no matter who you are, why not make the rest of it your own? So I guess all I'm saying is be who you are and be happy with who that is, no matter how you choose to go places, bike, car or hot air balloon! Don't let other people's opinion on what they think your life should be affect your opinion of your own life. Think before you judge some ones "car" remember we can't all drive a Cadillac!  It's taken me a long time to learn all of this. Lots of tears, a few bad dates, lots of great conversations with fabulous friends, tons of big dreams and plans for how I want my life to be. I mean, for the first time, maybe in a long time- if not first time ever- I am making plans and looking at multiple options for my future. It's exciting and wonderful and crazy hard, but I'm really glad you're a part of it! Happy Valentine's Day! 

Four in four

I don't know if it was just me, but it certainly feels like the past year has flown by. LOTS of things to reflect on, learn from and laugh/cry about. I don't really have a plan for this blog, which is the opposite of what I would say the summary of 2014 is. I'd have to say that 2014 was the year with goals and plans, both short and long term and then just lots of fun in between. 

January started with me being very motivated to run lots of 5Ks. Some great friends and I ran a 5K in our pajamas over Martin Luther king weekend to start the year. Although I didn't so that great thanks to the altitude and I didn't really run again until the summer time, I haven't lost my desire to run. I signed up for a run in October several months before it happened and was not prepared for it, but I did it anyway. Then ran the Veteran's Day run for the third year in a row, improving my time. Continued a tradition from the year before by running a turkey trot in Keller with my brother. I trained for that one and it was awesome! I really enjoyed training for the turkey trot and I'm looking forward to spring to get back outside and start training again....might even go to the gym, so I don't have to start all over! AGAIN!! 

Last year I also made a huge first step in a goal that I've been discussing for many years. I went back to school to take some leveling coursework towards my masters in math. I took Calculus 2 in the spring semester and Calculus 3 this fall. I was quite nervous about how I would handle school after a long break, but not to brag, well actually it is bragging, but it totally rocked it. Got an A in both courses, I even maintained a 103 average in Calc 3, until the final exam, which brought it down to 101. Needless to say, I am quite proud of my efforts in the class. I have one more leveling course to take, which unfortunately is not offered at night next week. So in preparation for the next step on the road to my masters, I've been studying for the GRE this semester and took the test last week. Still waiting in official scores, but I think I did well. I get really excited about the opportunities that the journey and the completion of this journey will bring into my life!!! Can't wait to see what 2015 brings in my education!! 

This year was also the year of the road trip!! Because I tend to ramble here is a list of my road trips and the people that were there!! 

-Jan 10-12: Seguin/San Marcos/Austin/Waco/Keller: workshops, Rachel, Betsy and lots of family! 

-Jan 17-20: Albuquerque: Pajama run: Baylie, David, Teresa, Matt

-March 12-16: Keller/Fort Worth: Dad, Bobby, Jake, Aubrey, LOTS OF FAMILY

-March 21-23: Waco: State debate tournament for school

-March 27-29: Kileen/Belton: State Music for school

-April 6-9: Waco: state Academic/art tournament for school

-May 2-4: Fort Worth: State Tournament for school

-May 25-26: Albuquerque: Wine festival: Baylie and David

-June 7-8: St. Lawrence/Midland: Leslie's wedding with Baylie and  Elizabeth

-July 18-20: Oklahoma City: Cory and Samantha's wedding with Lots of people! 

-July 28-Aug 3: Fort Worth/Dallas: Vacation, Yankees games and good food with Baylie and the Gallegos family 

-August 15-17: Fredericksburg: Elizabeth's bachelorette weekend with Elizabeth, Baylie and more!

-October 31-November 2nd: Albuquerque: Wine tours with Baylie and David

-November 26-30: Keller/Fort Worth: Thanksgiving with the Pace/Richardson's

Dang....that was a lot of trips....I don't think I missed anything...I have to say that I had a pretty fabulous time on all of those trips, although many of them were different from each other!!

This year, I also turned 30. Which was a big deal and a non big deal at the same time. Haha. This year has definitely brought more to clarity to lots of things in my life, which isn't just a result of being 30, but all the things I've done up til now. I am unconcerned with things that five years ago seemed like a HUGE WORRY! My roommate of two years got married in September, which meant the start of a new chapter as my friend Baylie and I found a new place to live. One of my best friends from college got married yesterday. The day she called me to tell me about the engagement, I was quite emotional. Even though they've been dating since last September, the news of the engagement meant a final step. Teresa has been my best friend for a very long time. There are stories that she's not a part of that I always think she is. Hahaha. There was a good chunk of time a few years ago, that we apparently spent a lot of time together. I remember going to events with our friends when Teresa was out of town or sick or had other plans and people would always ask "Where's Teresa?" There are many things that I admire and respect about Teresa and my sadness for the ending of a stage of our friendship has now been replaced with the excitement as we start a new one. 

This has also been a big year for health! My mom started the year still working in her recovery from the year before and her breast cancer journey. I was basically sick the whole month of February and half of March. I even had strep throat and the flu on Valentines day weekend and bronchitis showed up a few weeks later. During one of my many trips to FW, I was expressing my disgust of my constant state of illness, especially with my constant addition of a new medicine. In March, I had an inhaler, two allergy medicines and two nasal sprays and was still spending most days waiting for an ear ache, sore throat or some other illness. So they suggested that I look into my diet to see if that helped. So I did some research and tried out a gluten free diet for a few weeks at the first of the summer. With the help of the cook staff at camp and a fellow gluten free staff, I stuck with it for most of the summer! Didn't do as well on my vacations after camp, but when school started, I recommitted to the diet and for the first time probably ever, I went a whole semester with no sick days! This diet has presented many challenges, there are lots of places that I don't consider eating at anymore because of limited options. I have also received many mixed reviews from friends and family. I'm so thankful for my friends and family that have been so accommodating, especially when I am just a guest in their house for dinner. I have also had a few who have argued with the validity of my claim that taking gluten out of my diet is a solution. My frustration comes with understanding partly because until July, I also questioned the validity of a "gluten free diet." I don't think that being gluten free is necessary a solution for everyone. But let me just tell you some of the things that I have noticed: 

My energy level has increased significantly. I am still not a morning person, but I don't feel like a hateful morning person anymore. I don't feel "stuffed" all the time, or hardly ever actually. Gluten free does not mean taste free. My allergies have significantly improved and have gone back to a "seasonal" state rather than year round. 

So, if I can ask you one thing it would be this. Gluten free is not a cult. We are not trying to "bring you to the dark side" nor is it a disease, like there is something wrong with me. Also, please don't say "I could never do give that up." I used to feel the same, but now if I occasionally cheat and eat some bread or something, it definitely does not taste as good as the memory makes it taste. 

We also had cataract surgeries, knee surgeries, Emergency room visits, and other health problems. 

Well, I think we see what happens when I don't have a plan. Thanks for being a part of 2014 in some way! I am blessed beyond measure!! 

Happy New Year!! 

Magic Train

Every once in a while, I get an idea to write something and decide to share with the universe rather than with my future self in my journal. So, this is really the merging of two ideas. A few weeks ago, I "wrote" a blog, but I wrote it the old fashioned way and too much time has gone by for me to translate that onto here with as much conviction as it was originally intended. However, today's idea is very similar to my blog-turned-journal entry. So here goes nothing!
Whoa...I just realized that this is my first blog as a 30 year old! Dang, I'm 30 years old! Can I just tell you how awesome it is?? I have found myself over the last 6-8 weeks reflecting on the choices, people and circumstances that have brought me to where I am now. Thinking about how I got back to Amarillo is a CRAZY trip...
At the time, I think I really felt like I was crawling back home with my head as low as my expectations for what my life would be like once I was a full time resident of Amarillo again. I thought I could live here for a while to be close to my family while I waited for the real excitement to begin in my life! In the six years since moving back, quite the opposite has happened. Looking back on the person I was at the age of 24 is almost shocking. I was scared and felt terrible about myself for many reasons, Plus I was extremely overweight. I was lonely and was certain that I would always be lonely. In six years of life, I have completely shattered the shell of a person that I was in MANY WAYS! I have traveled close to 250,000 miles for various reasons since the move to Amarillo. Can I just take this opportunity to remind you that traveling allows you to grow in ways you didn't think possible?! I have made many wonderful amazing friends, friends so fantastic that I just can barely think of enough fabulous adjectives to describe how blessed I am to be a part of their awesome lives. This includes reconnecting to "old" friends, growing fabulous friendships with people who've been there all along and meeting some pretty great new friends as well. This evening for some reason I was thinking about something totally random from sometime in the past six years. I'm sure something similar to the feeling I was thinking of could be found in a journal entry, maybe multiple entries, from the past 6-8 years. Feelings of loneliness, of a deep sense of loneliness because I didn't have that "one person" to whom I could share anything with at anytime and feel no sense of guilt for ranting or raving and consuming someone's free time. I used this sense of loneliness to convince myself that the lack of such a person only intensified my feelings of loneliness. Now, I realize that my feelings are kind of a bunch of nonsense. So I don't have "one person," I have something much better than that. I have "people." People with whom I can share my life story in exchange for them sharing their story with me. People who are too many to name, for fear of forgetting someone or making someone feel unequal because of the order of my list. PEOPLE, FRIENDS, I hope that I can return to you at least 10% of what you've given me.  I've really begun to notice how much I've grown as a person in the past six years. I no longer feel scared about my present, worried about my future or ashamed of my past. All of the choices that I've made have gotten me here, the mistakes and victories have all taught me something. I think I'm rambling, as I often do. I'm not sure what the "point" or "moral" of this entry is....maybe just establishing in the virtual world that I'm doing alright and thanking you fine folks for helping me get here. I really wish I could describe the feeling I had earlier this evening that inspired this entry. I just felt like God has spent the last six years dragging my sorry little butt in a broken red wagon through the mud and now I understand why it had to happen just this way. Although, in my metaphor, I'm not sure that it is very clear what I needed to go through the mud. Maybe the mud fixed the wheel on the wagon....or helped me hide the wagon from the Indians sent to ravage the town that I live in as a sad, helpless widow in the midst of the cruel winter of 1864....
So maybe, I've been reading a lot lately....

Until next time! 

Shall I get you a box?

I am here at Camp, it's a typical Tuesday evening and Day 3 of a 13 day session. I wish I could capture the walk from the office to my cabin for you. For you to understand the inspiration behind my blog you would need the sights, the smells, the sounds something which is impossible to "share" as we do so many other things these days. But I am going to try and describe it to you, hopefully it will bring back a memory or two that you have tucked away somewhere. 

The moon is almost full but very bright. No manufactured flashlight is needed on weeks such as this one, because you have nature's to guide your way. The moon changes the blackness of the sky to a deep "midnight blue" but it also looks like it could be early morning. There's rain somewhere in the distance but the only evidence I have is the soft smell that has to be one of my favorite smells. The sounds include grasshoppers, crickets, rustling of leaves, and every once in a while a voice or two talking in the distance. It could be campers talking as they take one last trip to the bathroom or Counselors letting go of a little late night energy. I almost feel like instead of a stone cabin with AC, I should be walking into a log cabin with a fireplace. There's something very timeless about my walk this evening. I have probably taken a walk similar to this before. There were probably many before me who have taken walks like this and I'm certain, as well as hopeful, that there will be others after me that will take this walk.