Friday, May 23, 2014

The Dingo May Be Dead

So this year, I'm pretty consistent with my blogging, although completely unintentional, I've written a blog about every two months. So this semester has been the busiest semester of pretty much my whole life! The last few years at school I've taken on more responsibilities and it has been more of a blessing than I could have ever imagined! I am close to wrapping up my 5th year at a job that I took, really out of desperation. I moved back to Amarillo in 2009 with no job or prospective job and after a few interviews with Holy Cross and a job offer in Late July, I was willing to take a large paycut to ensure employment of some kind! Little did I know that job would have the effect on me that it has had! Many of my coworkers have become my closest friends and I know that no matter what the future holds, we will remain friends for many years. The students, although still "typical teenagers" interact with each other in a way that resembles that of a family rather than a school. 
Enough about my school though, I could talk about how awesome HCCA is for a VERY long time. But that is not the purpose of this blog. :) 
I have to say that one of the BIGGEST, most unexpected blessings that I've "uncovered" in my time at Holy Cross is that of my relationship status, or lack there of technically. :) My thoughts, opinions and feelings on that of my "future husband" have varied over the last 29 years of my life! However, at this stage of my life, I am quite certain that his absence at this time has allowed me to experience more than I once dreamed of as a teenager. I was talking to a class early this week and told a few girls "No boyfriend until you graduate!" One of the boys said, "and you still don't have one!" We laughed about it, but then I said, "What good would that do me right now to have one? I have been so busy, I would never see him and we would have just fought about how I never see him." Which is so true! That's one of the BEST parts of my life right now, I'm able to participate in many things relatively guilt free because I'm not "leaving anyone behind." I have been able to explore my options and commit to MANY awesome (and stressful) projects! Which brings me to a complaint I have about other people's reaction to my relationship status. Let me just preface this by making a statement: I am human. As awesome as I've just said things are, I get lonely every once in a while. I am CERTAIN that I'm not alone in my loneliness. In fact, there may be people surrounded by their family reading this blog who feel lonely right now. Loneliness is not aimed at the single people in the world, it is a human characteristic. A few times, while commiserating about said loneliness, a friend (or two) as replied, "Don't worry. Your time will come!" I have to first admit that I believe that I have probably been guilty of saying this a few times, but now I regret it. My response to that, "Why can't my time be now? Why does 'My time' depend on someone else in my life?" Frankly, I'm frustrated! This is not the 1800s anymore! While discussing my future plans with someone during this semester, I was asked about my "plans for marriage," they may have even said "goal of marriage" but I don't think that's something I should wait on or plan on happening! It's not a box on a to do list that you just check off! Now, you may be thinking "Well, this has certainly been written by a bitter old spinster." And I just have to say, "Rude!" Hahaha. No, but really, I have never felt more gratitude for the opportunities that have been placed in my life. I used to say that I was glad to be single, and I just think it took me a while to actually mean it. 
I just have one more thing to add to this: I don't think any of this would be true if it weren't for the AMAZING friends that I have, many of them I'm not even able to see on a regular basis! So thank you friends!  I hope that I have brought you at least half as much happiness as you have brought me!