Wednesday, April 15, 2015

Late night Post

The last week has been very bizarre, but maybe only because I expected it to be normal. Except for today, I knew today would be difficult. Although, it wasn't nearly as difficult as I thought it would be. Today I made an announcement at school, that I'm not conflicted about because I know that it is the right decision. I know that it is the right decision because I've spent a lot of time praying, reflecting, and discussing it, as many of you can attest to. So what is this announcement? Well, my first period had to take a guess before I said it, "You're getting married!?" HA!! NO....that's not it! I have decided not to return to Holy Cross Catholic Academy as a full time teacher next school year. Since I've taken serious steps to pursue my Master's degree, I have felt very torn and split in many directions. I have felt like none of my commitments have gotten the attention that I deserve, and if I'm not giving 100%, then I have to take a look at what I can do differently. My students today all had very different reactions to the news. I am impressed that I only cried three times today. Two of those times were during 1st period. My sophomore geometry class is one that I always favor for many reasons, for one it is tons of fun to teach. The last few years I have also taught the sophomores two years in a row, 9th Algebra 2 and 10th geometry. There's a very unique bond that happens when you have a class back to back like that. One that I can't describe, but I know that it is one lasts for a long time. Anyways, sorry for the distraction. I have to share a few of the reactions that I got from students and teachers today. One of those sophomores asked "But, you'll be back to teach when we are seniors right?" I told her that I am only taking it one day at a time. One of the 7th graders asked "So, when you finish getting your Master's, you'll be back to teach here full time again, right?" The choir teacher I've had the honor of traveling with several places and I've watched her become a phenomenal music teacher in just two short years, honestly, I can't wait to see her as a teacher in the future. But she said, "I understand where you're coming from, but that doesn't mean I have to like it." But the teacher across the hallway, who I've only taught with for one year, really blew me away with her reaction. She came across the hall and said something to this effect, "I understand the struggle, but I can tell you that we're going to miss you around here. I think you are Holy Cross and you represent the school so well. I know you'll be missed greatly." Gosh, I'm tearing up again, just typing that. But I guess if I've done my job right, my students will continue to be successful no matter who their new teacher is! So, Elizabeth, why the blog? I wanted to take a minute to address the people who weren't sitting in my classroom today. To my former students, you are amazing! I would not be on this journey if it weren't for each and every one of you. I have been inspired to be a better educator because of you! To my coworkers, past present, whatever, thanks you guys. You are all such fabulous professionals that I wouldn't have considered taking this path if it weren't for all of you. I mean, I've watched a hippie English major become a really fabulous English Teacher. I just can't tell all of you reading this, how much I appreciate all that you've done for me to get here. Quick shout out to my dad for helping me pay for this semester and several other things as they've come up. This is a very scary journey that I'm starting come June. For one, I'm not returning to the staff of Camp Kiwanis for the first time in almost 15 years. Then next year, I'm looking at the possibility of not even working as a teacher. I have several options that I'm working on at the moment. If you know of something with flexible hours, decent pay and benefits, let me know. :) This blog is shorter than I feel like it deserves partly because I just spent all evening at Starbuck's working on homework. So I'm a little tired tonight. Well....that's all for now! Thanks for reading. Thanks for being you. Until next time.

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