Shall I get you a box?

I am here at Camp, it's a typical Tuesday evening and Day 3 of a 13 day session. I wish I could capture the walk from the office to my cabin for you. For you to understand the inspiration behind my blog you would need the sights, the smells, the sounds something which is impossible to "share" as we do so many other things these days. But I am going to try and describe it to you, hopefully it will bring back a memory or two that you have tucked away somewhere. 

The moon is almost full but very bright. No manufactured flashlight is needed on weeks such as this one, because you have nature's to guide your way. The moon changes the blackness of the sky to a deep "midnight blue" but it also looks like it could be early morning. There's rain somewhere in the distance but the only evidence I have is the soft smell that has to be one of my favorite smells. The sounds include grasshoppers, crickets, rustling of leaves, and every once in a while a voice or two talking in the distance. It could be campers talking as they take one last trip to the bathroom or Counselors letting go of a little late night energy. I almost feel like instead of a stone cabin with AC, I should be walking into a log cabin with a fireplace. There's something very timeless about my walk this evening. I have probably taken a walk similar to this before. There were probably many before me who have taken walks like this and I'm certain, as well as hopeful, that there will be others after me that will take this walk. 

The Dingo May Be Dead

So this year, I'm pretty consistent with my blogging, although completely unintentional, I've written a blog about every two months. So this semester has been the busiest semester of pretty much my whole life! The last few years at school I've taken on more responsibilities and it has been more of a blessing than I could have ever imagined! I am close to wrapping up my 5th year at a job that I took, really out of desperation. I moved back to Amarillo in 2009 with no job or prospective job and after a few interviews with Holy Cross and a job offer in Late July, I was willing to take a large paycut to ensure employment of some kind! Little did I know that job would have the effect on me that it has had! Many of my coworkers have become my closest friends and I know that no matter what the future holds, we will remain friends for many years. The students, although still "typical teenagers" interact with each other in a way that resembles that of a family rather than a school. 

Enough about my school though, I could talk about how awesome HCCA is for a VERY long time. But that is not the purpose of this blog. :) 

I have to say that one of the BIGGEST, most unexpected blessings that I've "uncovered" in my time at Holy Cross is that of my relationship status, or lack there of technically. :) My thoughts, opinions and feelings on that of my "future husband" have varied over the last 29 years of my life! However, at this stage of my life, I am quite certain that his absence at this time has allowed me to experience more than I once dreamed of as a teenager. I was talking to a class early this week and told a few girls "No boyfriend until you graduate!" One of the boys said, "and you still don't have one!" We laughed about it, but then I said, "What good would that do me right now to have one? I have been so busy, I would never see him and we would have just fought about how I never see him." Which is so true! That's one of the BEST parts of my life right now, I'm able to participate in many things relatively guilt free because I'm not "leaving anyone behind." I have been able to explore my options and commit to MANY awesome (and stressful) projects! Which brings me to a complaint I have about other people's reaction to my relationship status. Let me just preface this by making a statement: I am human. As awesome as I've just said things are, I get lonely every once in a while. I am CERTAIN that I'm not alone in my loneliness. In fact, there may be people surrounded by their family reading this blog who feel lonely right now. Loneliness is not aimed at the single people in the world, it is a human characteristic. A few times, while commiserating about said loneliness, a friend (or two) as replied, "Don't worry. Your time will come!" I have to first admit that I believe that I have probably been guilty of saying this a few times, but now I regret it. My response to that, "Why can't my time be now? Why does 'My time' depend on someone else in my life?" Frankly, I'm frustrated! This is not the 1800s anymore! While discussing my future plans with someone during this semester, I was asked about my "plans for marriage," they may have even said "goal of marriage" but I don't think that's something I should wait on or plan on happening! It's not a box on a to do list that you just check off! Now, you may be thinking "Well, this has certainly been written by a bitter old spinster." And I just have to say, "Rude!" Hahaha. No, but really, I have never felt more gratitude for the opportunities that have been placed in my life. I used to say that I was glad to be single, and I just think it took me a while to actually mean it. 

I just have one more thing to add to this: I don't think any of this would be true if it weren't for the AMAZING friends that I have, many of them I'm not even able to see on a regular basis! So thank you friends!  I hope that I have brought you at least half as much happiness as you have brought me!

Popcorn, gibberish and nonsense

So, it's late. It's spring break. I'm not tired and I'm going to regret this in a few hours. Like, I didn't even nap today! But I'll be napping tomorrow! It's been 2014 for three months or so now, so I thought it was time for a blog. It also had been lent for a week now. While we are on random facts, yesterday (Thursday) was the anniversary of the Pope's election and national Popcorn Lover's day! So for lent this year, I'm trying something different. First, I have deleted the Facebook app from my phone. I am trying not to use facebook at all on my phone, but that's not working that great, especially with travel. Otherwise, only my iPad or a computer do I log into my facebook account. I'll be the first to admit that I've  saw that it has been nice to not be overwhelmed by it. I mean, not to sound philosophical but, it has become stressful to be "around" so many people with out actually connecting with those people. I'm working on my connections this lent: with me, God, family, friends, whomever else!!! So in an extension of this resolution, I'm writing letters to one of the 40 people I have on my list everyday and praying for them. It's neat to write to the people on my list, some I have grown disconnected with, while others I see all the time or at least on a regular basis. I've also subscribed to two random lists: #40acts of generosity and what to give up for lent 2014. The 40 acts is fun, lots of random acts of generosity. For example, earlier this week I sent a care package to a friend I thought could use a bit of cheering up. So first, if you're reading this, I probably need your address! I'm also "attempting" to add more daily mass into my week so that mass is just about me and my visit with God, not the people that I will see there! Hoping to carry some of these over to year round activities. I really like doing nice random things for people, all the time, anytime. I need to start doing more random acts of kindness all the time.  

Well, I think I should go to sleep now. I keep typing gibberish. Not sure I can stay awake any longer. Thanks for reading!!! More to come at a date that isn't too late  

until next time! 

You're it

I have to say that I, like many others, am not sad to see 2013 be put behind us. It brought about many changes and I learned many things, so I do not regret anything I did this year. I was disappointed in others a few times this year, but I'm most proud of the fact that I was not disappointed in myself. This year, I took action, I expressed my thoughts and feelings, I took chances. My family did not have a great year, between my mothers breast cancer diagnosis, Bobby's knee problem and a few other snags. Although I spent more time with family due to these changes so there is light where there is darkness, as they say. I'm still not any good at saying No, but that's just a part of me. And the way I see it, as long as I have the ability, the desire and the opportunity to work hard, why shouldn't I?  2013 also saw more travel, which of course makes me happy, although no international travel. 

So now it is time to focus on the upcoming year, 2014. I have goals and plans but as far as resolutions, I wasn't sure what I was going to do at first. If you have read my blogs before, you know that setting and keeping a resolution is something that I have accomplished many times and enjoy completing. However, with so many upcoming things I wasn't really sure what this years would be. That is, until I had lunch at taco villa today. The cashier was one of those super nice, very friendly employees. She called everyone honey and said god bless you a lot, even when people didn't sneeze. So this nice lady was talking to a couple sitting behind me while I crunched down on my steak fajita taco and one of them asked her what her resolutions are for this year. Her response has inspired me. She said "Last year was a terrible year for me and I made all these plans. So this year, I'm handing it over to The Lord. My plans didn't work at all last year so I'm just going to let The Lord show me what he has in store for me." I think that sounds like a fantastic plan. I guess you could say that means that my resolution this year is "to be more open." I do know that I plan to activate the "Do not disturb" function on my phone a lot more this year, maybe even leave it off or at home a bit more. I have, until recently, felt this...need to be connected to people all the time and to always want to know what they're doing. And I've just discovered that it's just RIDICULOUS and USELESS. Who cares if something happens without me knowing about it. I plan on starting a LOT less conversations with "did you see on facebook....?" Or "I saw on facebook...." Anyways, I still enjoy writing my blogs and I will still carry on conversation via text message or phone call, but don't be surprised if I don't answer or respond as quickly as it has in the past. 

In closing, whatever your resolutions, whatever your reflections on the past year, I hope the upcoming 12 months brings you many blessings, happiness and, of course, some quality time with yours truly. :) 

Typical

It's a typical Christmas Eve at the house of Pace. Dad is baking way too many pies, mom is wrapping every gift she bought, there's a Christmas movie playing in the TV. There are a few that have been a bit different, although I don't think mom has ever wrapped a single gift before Christmas Eve, it's her thing, it's quite amusing! As soon as she's done, she will pick out "two packages" that bobby and I get to open, if I were a betting woman, I would put all my money on those packages being pajamas. The movie is different every year, occasionally dad throws in a new pie or a cake. I have found myself reflecting on many different Christmases today. I have a few memories of spending the holiday with my Nanny in Lubbock, with my aunt Dee and cousins Duke and Nicole. I remember many where we just stayed at home and Bernetta and/or Nanny would come over. Up until just a few years ago, I remember being ridiculously, indescribably excited about waking up Christmas Eve. Now that there are no small children in the house, I'm not nearly as excited, but I am almost ALWAYS the first one up on Christmas. Many things are always the same on Christmas morning. First thing is to open your stocking and discover what was in it, usually we would then put everything back and wake up mom and dad and do that part all over again. Then while we explored those new gifts that mysteriously appeared, mom and dad make pancakes. After we have partaken in the best Christmas breakfast ever,  fast, easy and everyone likes it, we pass put gifts for the people present and open gifts as a family. No one opens anything until it's all passed out and then it is a free for all. Pausing here and there for the "BIG GIFTS" and the ensuing reaction. Then mom and dad get some cooking done while the kids are distracted and we wait for the arrival of the next group of family. Nowadays it's my sister and her kids, but it has been many people over the years. Then after more opening, more cooking and maybe some game playing, we eat lunch around one or two. Then napping, movie watching, game playing and more eating. Tonight, however, for the first time in MANY years, I will not be attending midnight mass. As a child, we always attended midnight mass. There were a few when bobby was younger that we went to the children's mass. I love St. Mary's midnight mass, mostly for Jim Rauscher's performance of the Proclamation, I'll try to post a link later. This year, we attended children's mass with my niece and nephews at St. Mary's. Seeing that we were almost always with my grandma for Christmas, there's usually a time, and it's often during the Our Father that I can "feel" her, or something like it. This year, it happened whilst singing songs with my niece standing in front of me singing away, nephews a few people down belting out a tune and of course my mom, dad and brother also singing right along. It was like one of those weird feelings like a door had been opened to the future and past and I was experiencing all of my former Christmas memories, and thinking about ones that haven't happened yet. Christmases that I would share my family traditions with my children and my niece and brother and everyone would be there to help. I think I was already feeling a bit nostalgic after the drive to church, Bobby and I were singing some Christmas tunes in the car. And this may sound a bit crazy or make you roll your eyes. But I want to take note of a few things, none of my memories are of the gifts that I have received or the ones I gave. Don't put so much pressure on the gifts. If you know the person, you know what the enjoy doing and can buy something to speaks to that. That's all people want, really. Or at least I think that's what we should teach our children. It's not about getting the best, newest exciting thing out there. It's about showing the ones you love that you notice them and reminding them that they aren't alone in this crazy, ridiculous, often scary world. Also, I've often said that thanksgiving is my favorite holiday. I think I've done that for a few reasons:1) if you say Christmas is your favorite holiday, people usually think your greedy or something. 2) thanksgiving is very similar to Christmas but without the added pressure of gift giving. 3) if you don't say that Jesus's birth is the reason you love Christmas, also makes you sound a little unchristian. In conclusion, I'll stick to my old standby, "I don't choose favorites." :) Merry Christmas to you and yours! 

A small view at some of the PJs over the years....

Oh what a time

Happy Post-Thanksgiving and/or Black Friday!! Hope you all got to enjoy sometime with your loved ones! I decided to do something different this thanksgiving! As most of you know, I've recently decided to try to become a runner! Originally I was going to run  a 5K this thanksgiving with my brother, but unfortunately he injured himself last week playing basketball and has a torn ACL. So it would happen that I would run this thing by myself. I was very nervous. I'd really only ran two this fall and only taken 30 seconds off my time in over two months. Of course, one of those months I was injured. So last week boot camp started again and the week before I found a running app that coached me and changed the music to my pace. I also purchased some new ear plugs. My other ones would not stay in my ears. I found some IronMan plugs that were guaranteed to not fall out. I also posted on fb welcoming anyone to send encouraging texts during the race. The night before, I was sore from bootcamp and decided to do my yoga DVD that I bought this summer. This summer, I would do yoga at night and fall asleep during the meditation. I had to set an alarm so I didn't wake up on my floor at 1 am. But I knew it would be good to stretch. The yoga was just as fabulous as I remember (I hadn't done it since camp ended...) however, I'm not sure if I was stressed about the race or if I'm just stressed more in general this time of year, but I did not do a good job of meditating. In fact, I watched the end of the video and completed a part of the DVD I didn't even know existed. The stress may be a combination of both, but I've decided to make myself do the DVD more often.

Morning of the race, I set my alarm for like 6:45, with a race time of 9:00. I woke up at 5:45....I got up ate some breakfast, drank some water. Tried to relax a bit. Decided to get there early cause I didn't really know where I was going. I sat in there car and stayed warm for a long time but then decided to get out and warm up a bit. There were tons of people! My app has a race day option so I moved it to that day, it was a few weeks away, and uploaded my new playlist to the app. When we moved to the starting line, I could sense I was too close to the front. Right as we started I got the first of many texts from my cousin Kim. Of course I received several pre race texts from my friends Monica, Kristi, and Adam. The app helped me stick with my 1 min walk, 1 min run ratio, although in the first mile, I did more walking than running. I think that's why I did so well. My friend David once told me that the beat thing I could do was not push too hard at the beginning, save it for the end. I think I did that this time. I received many texts during the race from my brother, mother and many more from my cousin Kim! I also received texts from coworkers/friends Janet, Mary and Jennifer. A little more than halfway through, my app had a malfunction. It somehow started running two programs at the same time. The last half a mile or so I had to turn it off and go back to my playlist. But I was astonished at the time, I had a feeling that I was going to improve my time but was not sure by how much. The finish line was in between this parking lot. So I decided I would run when I got to the lot. Well, that was taking too long so I started running before. The worst part of the finish line was that all the early finishers were trying to leave while I was trying to finish. There were a bunch of people at the finish line and a few standing in front of the clock. In fact, I couldn't see it until I was almost there. When I saw that it said 43: something, I ran just a bit harder. My goal since September was too finish under 45!! Somehow the clock said 43!! I knew no one at the finish line but people were cheering for everyone. I got a good job from a complete stranger. When I crossed both lines and made it around the fence, I truly had to fight back tears. Over a year ago, I had barely walked a 5K in under an hour.  Now somehow, I had made it under 43!! I had to sit in my car for a while before I could drive home. I was shaking from the race and the emotions and the cold. I sent messages to everyone who had encouraged me. I also started thinking of what I could do to take three minutes of my next one! I'm excited to find out how much time I've taken off my bootcamp mile since August. My first mile took me 14 min and 48 seconds. I just feel so much better than I did a year ago!! I can't even remember how I felt when I was living in midland, which was probably when I was living life the unhealthiest. I'm so proud of what I've done. I can't wait to set a new goal for myself so I can reach it. You know how much I love competing, if only I had realized sooner how awesome it was to compete with yourself!! 

I ate some of my dad's new apple pie yesterday with no regret. And had a few celebratory cocktails throughout the day! Haha! 

I had to write this blog for me, firstly. For the times when I have a bad workout. Or start to wonder if I should workout or not. 

I also had to post this as a thank you to all of you wonderful people reading this!!! I'm glad to hear so many of you say you would run the next one with me! (Or have a drink waiting for me at the finish line!!) Honestly,  if I can become a runner, anyone can. 

Oh and Betsy, if you're reading this, be patient. I've conquered completion of 3.1 miles, but I need some time and better outdoor weather to be prepared for 13.1 miles, but I'm working on it....I promise. I just need to get a better time and longer runs in. We may need to find a 5K/half marathon somewhere...

Thanks everyone!! Now stop reading and go workout!!! :) 

But wait!! This song said exactly how I felt yesterday after my race, so I'm sharing with all of you! Go make a promise to yourself and make sure you keep it!! :)

You'll be ok

So last week I made a list of 15 things for which I am grateful! This week, I'm continuing my list, however I think this theme may lean more towards random than thankful. 

16. One of my most profound musical experiences happened when I was about 14, when I discovered that musicians did not actually write the songs they sing. It was a terribly disturbing moment for me and to this day if a singer/band actually write their own music, my respect for them increases exponentially. 

17. I have a secret fascination with hosting my own television show. When I watch movies, I always pick out clips I would show for actors if they were guests on my show. I've never told a single person that. Ever. 

18. I enjoy watching random YouTube videos but I don't always share them with people because things that I find humorous are not the same as others. And I don't want people to ruin my fun! 

19. I really hate that I'm a messy person.  And I don't hate cleaning as much as I say I do. I feel like I would have truly benefited from a class titled "bedroom organization and other household cleaning tips." 

20. I spent many of my childhood years pretending to like things that other people liked. However, as an adult I think I actually like those things. 

21. I love teaching myself how to do things. In fact, if I'm on the verge of figuring things out and you tell me what to do or what the answer is, I will probably be very unhappy with you. It is also why I don't like knowing the endings to movies. 

22. I have many different names from my many years of life, Lizzy, Teddy, and I usually don't care what you call me. However, I do not like being called Liz. Never have. Yes, I know that many of you will take advantage of this confession to call me Liz, but you'll get tired of it....

23. I don't really like getting attached to pets. We had many pets that met their end at our house that I just decided not to try anymore. I'm also mildly afraid of animals...big or small...no actual reason for it. I just am.

24. I have very hot feet. Most of you know this, but it is one reason that I wear sandals a lot. Having my feet trapped in a hot shoe wrapped in a sock all day is semi-torturous. It is also the reason that the first thing I do when I get home is take off my shoes. 

25. I am fascinated with running into celebrities in places that you don't expect, such as airports, train stations and walking down the sidewalk. 

26. I have not outgrown my fear of the dark. I'm not sure if I ever will. I'm sure it is associated with a fear of the unknown. 

27. I really have a hard time choosing favorites of anything, color, music, movie, people. I have tendencies depending in what day it is...but no all time favorites. 

28. I LOVE volunteering. But not because it is a good thing to do, well, maybe a little. It is mostly cause I like to keep busy and I'm a control freak. 

29. I have an amazing memory. If I tell you that I don't remember something, it might be a lie. Every year for the last four years, I've had the entire school schedule memorized. I have a very awesome visual memory but a terrible auditory memory. If you try to tell me directions or steps, I'll inly remember the first three or the last three. 

30. I don't really know anything about fashion. In fact, when I get compliments on my clothes or outfits, I really am really truly shocked. I just wear what I think looks nice. 

So that took me a bit longer than I thought it would. I rambled a bit on this once, but I made no promise of doing otherwise. Thanks for reading! Happy thanksgiving!!!